Week 42

Days 288 to 294 · 41 weeks 0 days to 41 weeks 6 days old · about 9 and a half months

A typical baby this week measures about 72 cm (28.3 in) and weighs about 8.7 kg (19.2 lb). Babies vary widely, and the line your baby follows on the growth chart tells you more than any one weight. Your baby probably understands much more than they can say: their name, "no", "bye-bye" and the names of a few favourite people and things. Many are babbling with the rhythm of real speech. For you, the days may feel full and busy, with less time to think. This week looks at how your baby follows simple instructions, first words on the horizon, early picky eating, how much a baby this age eats, games of give and take, a baby who prefers one parent, and the shape of a typical day.

Day 288 · 41 weeks 0 days old

Your baby understands more than you think

Say "Where's the dog?" and your baby may turn to look at the family pet. Say "Give it to me" with your hand out, and they may hand you the toy, or at least hold it out and then snatch it back with a grin. Understanding words comes well before saying them.

Between about 9 and 12 months, many babies start to follow simple, familiar instructions, especially when you add a gesture. "Come here" with open arms, "Clap your hands" while you clap, or "Arms up" as you lift a shirt are all good starting points. At first your baby relies a lot on your tone and actions, then gradually on the words alone.

You can build this understanding through daily routines. Use the same short phrases for the same things: "Bath time", "Shoes on", "All done". Name what your baby is looking at. Point and wait for them to follow your finger, a skill that usually appears around now and is an important building block for language.

Do not expect obedience. Your baby is not choosing to ignore you when they crawl off in the other direction; their attention is simply short, and the thing across the room is very interesting.

Try this: Hold out your hand and say "Can I have the ball, please?" during play today, then say "Thank you" warmly and hand it back, so the game can go round again.

Day 289 · 41 weeks 1 day old

First words are on their way

Most babies say their first real word somewhere around their first birthday, but the normal range is wide, from about 9 months to around 15 months or more. Before then you will hear plenty of babble that sounds like talking, with ups and downs and pauses, as if your baby is telling you a long story. What counts as a first word? It is a sound your baby uses on purpose, again and again, for the same person or thing. It does not need to be pronounced correctly. "Ba" for ball, "da" for dog or "uh-oh" when something falls all count, if your baby uses them consistently. "Mama" and "dada" are often babbled early before they become names for a particular person.

Gestures are part of communication too. Pointing, reaching with a look at you, waving and shaking the head are all ways your baby tells you things before words arrive.

If your family speaks more than one language, keep speaking the ones that feel natural to you. Babies learning two languages reach their first words at about the same age as other babies. Their words may be spread across both languages at first.

You will read more about first words, and what is worth raising with the doctor, around the first birthday.

Try this: Keep a running list on the fridge of the sounds your baby uses with a clear meaning, even if they are not quite words yet.

Day 290 · 41 weeks 2 days old

When your baby suddenly turns down foods they used to love

Many parents notice a change around now: the baby who happily ate broccoli last month now throws it on the floor. Appetite also tends to swing from day to day. One day your baby eats more than you, the next they barely touch their plate.

This is very common. Growth slows down in the second half of the first year, so babies need less food for their size than they did before. Teething, a cold, a busy day or a new skill to practise can all take their interest away from eating. And babies are developing their own preferences.

A helpful way to think about it is to share the job. You decide what food to offer, when and where. Your baby decides whether to eat it and how much. Pressuring, bribing or playing games to get "one more bite" tends to make children less willing to eat over time.

Keep offering refused foods alongside ones your baby likes, without comment. It can take 10 to 15 tries before a baby accepts a new food. Serve small portions so a refusal does not feel like a waste.

Call your baby's doctor if your baby is refusing most food and drink, has fewer wet diapers, seems unwell, or is not gaining weight.

Try this: Put one small piece of a recently refused food on your baby's tray next to a favourite, and say nothing about it either way.

Day 291 · 41 weeks 3 days old

How much does a baby this age eat?

Between 9 and 12 months, solid food gradually becomes a bigger part of your baby's diet, while breast milk or formula is still an important source of nutrition. Most babies this age have three meals a day and, if they are hungry between them, one or two small snacks. Many still have several milk feeds, often on waking, before naps and at bedtime.

There is no single right amount. A meal might be a few spoonfuls one day and half a bowl the next. Babies are good at regulating their intake when they are allowed to follow their own hunger and fullness signals. Signs your baby has had enough include turning away, closing their mouth, pushing food off the tray or wanting to get down.

Aim for variety across the day rather than balance at every meal. Include iron-rich foods such as meat, fish, eggs, beans, lentils, tofu or iron-fortified cereal at least twice a day. Add vegetables, fruit, grain foods and full-fat dairy such as yogurt and cheese. Offer water in an open or free-flow cup with meals.

If your baby drinks so much milk that they are rarely hungry for solids, try offering solids first at some meals. A steady curve on the growth chart is the best sign that they are getting enough overall.

Try this: Over today's meals, check whether your baby had an iron-rich food at least twice, and plan one in for tomorrow's breakfast.

Day 292 · 41 weeks 4 days old

Games of give and take

You hand your baby a block. They look at it, look at you, and hand it back. You say "Thank you!" and hand it back again. This simple game can go on for ages, and it is doing more than it seems.

Back-and-forth games teach turn-taking, the basic rhythm of every conversation. They help your baby practise letting go of objects on purpose, a hand skill that takes time to master. And they give your baby the pleasure of making something happen with another person.

Other give-and-take games to try:

Rolling a ball back and forth while you both sit on the floor with legs apart.

Taking turns putting blocks into a container and tipping them out. Passing a toy around a circle of family members.

Copying each other's taps on a drum or table.

Your baby may not hand things over every time. Sometimes they will hold the toy out and then pull it back, laughing. That is a joke, and a sign they understand what you expect. Laugh along.

Keep these games short and follow your baby's lead. When they look away or start to fuss, they have had enough for now.

Try this: Sit on the floor with your baby and roll a soft ball to them, then hold out your hands and wait to see if they send it back your way.

Day 293 · 41 weeks 5 days old

When your baby only wants one of you

Many babies go through phases of strongly preferring one parent or carer. Your baby might reach for one of you, cry when the other one picks them up, or want only one person at bedtime. It often peaks around now, when separation anxiety is also strong.

It is normal and usually temporary, and it is not a verdict on anyone's parenting. Babies often prefer whoever has spent the most time with them recently, or whoever comforts them in a familiar way. Preferences can flip with a new job, a holiday or a change in routines.

It can still sting. The parent who is not chosen may feel rejected and step back. The preferred parent may feel touched out and trapped. Both feelings make sense.

The best response is usually for the less-preferred parent to keep showing up, calmly and consistently. Short daily routines that belong to that parent, like the morning diaper change, a bath or a walk, help build their own bond. The preferred parent can help by stepping out of sight during those times, so the baby is not torn.

For your partner: If you are the less-favoured parent right now, choose one daily routine to make yours this week, and stick with it even if there are tears at first.

Day 294 · 41 weeks 6 days old

A typical day at 9 to 10 months

Every family's day looks different, but a rough rhythm helps many babies and parents feel more settled. Here is one example of what a day might look like for a baby this age.

Your baby might wake around 6 or 7 in the morning and have a milk feed, then breakfast a little later. A morning nap of about 1 to 1 and a half hours often comes 2 to 3 hours after waking. Lunch follows, then play and an outing, then an afternoon nap. A snack, dinner with the family, a bath or wash, a bedtime milk feed and bed somewhere between about 7 and 8 in the evening round out the day.

Most babies this age need roughly 12 to 15 hours of sleep in 24 hours, including two naps. Some still wake once or more at night, and that is common.

Use this as a loose guide, not a schedule to follow to the minute. Your baby's cues matter more than the clock. Some babies need longer awake stretches, others shorter, and daycare days may run to a different pattern. Look for a rhythm that works for your household, and adjust it as your baby grows. Try this: For two days, jot down roughly when your baby wakes, eats and naps, then look for the natural pattern that is already there.